


some prayers find an answer

by sawitinhereyes



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 05:20:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9220460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sawitinhereyes/pseuds/sawitinhereyes
Summary: she's the kind of person who believes everything happens for a reason. // damon & elena, seasons 3 & 4.





	1. holding on

**Author's Note:**

> because season 3 is when I really fell in love with these two, and season 4 is when they finally got their shit together, and I'll take any excuse I can get to watch them fall in love over and over again.
> 
> { I own nothing }

\-----

If he had it his way, he wouldn’t be spending his summer tracking Stefan’s ripper binge all over the country. If he had it his way, he’d be on some island somewhere with a bottle of bourbon and a beautiful woman. But the whole reason Stefan's following Klaus around like a lost puppy is to repay him for saving Damon's life. (Why his baby bro can’t just let him die, he’ll never understand.) He fucking hates being indebted to anyone, so he'll keep searching.

If he's honest with himself, though, he knows he's not searching for himself. In fact, if he's going to be  _brutally_  honest, Stefan was the only thing standing in the way of Damon getting everything he wants, so he should be happy he's gone, right?

Wrong. Because Elena's miserable.

He knows she thinks she's hiding it. She thinks he doesn't know how much she's hurting, how much she misses Stefan, but how could he  _not_  know? She loves Stefan. It's always gonna be Stefan for her. (Fuck.) He up and left without even saying goodbye, and he's leaving a trail of bodies up and down the eastern seaboard. Honestly, he’d be more worried if she weren’t miserable.

He doesn't want her to know the extent of what they've found. He won't let her tag along on any of their searches, in case Klaus is lurking, so it's pretty easy to keep her out of the loop and lead her to believe they're all dead ends. He hates lying to her, but it's for her own good. If she knew what they'd found, what Stefan's been up to, she'd be even more miserable than she is now. And he doesn’t want that, because contrary to popular opinion, he’s not completely heartless. 

He's trying to protect her. Really. He just wishes it didn't feel like he's kicking a puppy every time he comes home empty-handed. 

\-----

She keeps searching for Stefan because she refuses to give up on him. It's the only way she can keep herself from falling apart, the only thing that gets her out of bed in the morning.

With each new lead, her heart fills with equal parts hope and dread. Hope, because this could be the lead that proves he's still out there, even if Klaus is controlling him. And dread, because this could be the one that proves he's dead, and he’s never coming back. 

She can't bear the thought of the latter, so she pushes it from her mind and chooses to be optimistic. If he's still out there, she'll find him, and she'll bring him back to her. To them. She's sure of it.

\-----

She wakes up on her birthday wondering how she found herself right back where she started.

Last year, her birthday was just weeks after her parents died, and it was without a doubt the hardest day she's ever had to get through. She spent most of the day in bed, crying, and she had hoped that this year, things would be better. She thought she'd spend the day with Stefan, maybe have dinner with their friends, and just be  _happy_. Just a day of happiness; that’s all she really wanted. She supposes after the way this year's gone, she should've known it wouldn't be that easy.

All she feels this morning is a familiar ache in her heart. She wonders if she'll ever have another birthday without it. 

\-----

His house is fucking  _crawling_  with drunk teenagers. He'd be a little more pissed off about it if he didn't know it was for a good cause.

She's been putting on a brave face all day, but when he finds her in Stefan's room, staring at her reflection, he knows she's struggling to keep it together.  _I'm not going to lose it,_  she says, and he almost believes her. (Almost.) But she will lose it at some point, so he’s gonna do everything he can to make sure that doesn’t happen tonight. 

The necklace makes her smile, just like he hoped it would, because she deserves to be happy on her birthday. She deserves to be happy all the time, but especially today. He knows it hurts that Stefan’s not here, but at least this way she can have a piece of him with her, to remind her that he’s still out there somewhere, that there’s still hope.

(He doesn’t know if he really believes that himself, but if it’ll help Elena get through this day, he can pretend for a little while.) 

\----- 

It's not like he was in love with Andi or anything, but he did actually enjoy her company, and he never wanted her to get hurt. So that sucks. Then he gets home and Elena found his closet of tracking supplies and got herself all worked up and he had to break her little heart and yeah, this night just fucking  _sucks_.

Stefan's gone. He saw it in his eyes. He's probably flipped his switch to cope with committing mass murder. He doesn't care about Damon, he doesn't care about Elena, and they won't be able to save him, because he doesn't want to be saved.

\-----

It's him. She knows it's him, it has to be. He won't speak, but she can hear him breathing, can hear the hitch in his throat that means he's on the verge of tears. It's him, and he's  _alive_ , and she knows Damon’s wrong. He's alive, and whether he's flipped his switch or not, there's part of him that still cares, and that's enough for her.

Damon might have given up on him, but she can’t. 

\----- 

He can't believe he didn't see this coming, honestly. Her persistence is grating on his last nerve. What the hell does she think is gonna happen? She’s gonna find Stefan and he’s just gonna run into her arms and flip his switch back on and the world will be all sunshine and rainbows and butterflies?

She's fucking  _ridiculous_  and he doesn't know why the hell he puts up with her.

(He knows why. Because he's in love with her, goddamn it.)

\-----

Apparently, even ripper Stefan has a hero complex. How convenient.

\-----

 _Yes, I worry about you. Why do you even need to hear me say it?_  

_Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the things you felt when he was gone._

She doesn't know what he means by that, but he’s standing so close to her and her head's a little fuzzy, so maybe she's just not thinking straight.

Even after he walks away, she can still feel his hands on her cheeks, can feel her heart beating too quickly in her chest. He has a way of making her feel like she's standing on the edge of a cliff, and just one wrong step could send her tumbling over the edge. She wishes she knew what falling over the edge would mean, but she knows with Damon, it can't mean anything good.

\-----

Okay, so, impromptu trip to Chicago? Probably not the best idea he's ever had. Especially since he comes back without his brother and Elena comes back with a broken heart.

See, the thing about Elena is that when she's trying to avoid her grief, she finds something to focus on to distract her. And apparently, Damon's her new project.

He's a vampire. It may have taken him over a century or so, but he's accepted what he is. Stefan couldn't handle it (oh, the irony), but Damon's gotten pretty good over the years at practicing moderation and discretion when necessary. He's fucking annoyed that everyone suddenly thinks he needs some kind of intervention. He's never needed Stefan to keep him in check. If anything, Stefan needed Damon to keep him in check. He's not gonna go off the rails just because baby bro went rogue.

Really, it all comes down to the fact that he loves her, and he wants her to love him back, but he won't change who he is. He  _can't_. She wants a replacement Stefan, and he won't be that for her. He doesn't know where that leaves them, but it doesn't really matter, because if there's one thing he knows, it's that it'll always be Stefan for her. 

(Fuck.)

\-----

She watches the light go out of his eyes, watches his humanity vanish, and her heart shatters into a thousand pieces.

Damon brings her necklace back (again), but she can't wear it anymore. He was right - it's a symbol of her bond with Stefan,  _her_ Stefan. But her Stefan is gone, and so is their bond, at least for now. Every time she looks at it, it feels like her heart's being ripped out of her chest, and she just… she  _can't_. Not anymore.

She knows he's trying to help when he offers to help her forget, but she needs to remember. She can't let herself take the coward's way out, no matter how much it hurts. If she's ever gonna bring him back to her, she has to remember everything. And she  _will_  bring him back to her, even if she dies trying.

\-----

Everything about this situation is fucking annoying. Like a weird vampire freaky Friday. For over a hundred years, Stefan's been the good brother and Damon's been the dangerous one. If Stefan's gonna be the evil, sarcastic brother who treats humans like blood bags, then what the hell is Damon supposed to be? 

Not to mention Elena's gone all Buffy the Vampire Slayer and spends her time lifting weights and fighting dummies. He appreciates that she wants to protect herself. Really. It would make his life a hell of a lot easier if he didn't have to worry about her safety all the damn time. But Elena's ruled by her emotions. Always has been, always will be. He doesn't trust that when it comes down to it, she can do what needs to be done without letting her humanity get in the way. That's what she has him for, because he can do what needs to be done without thinking twice.

(It's like everyone's bucking the system, and he doesn’t know where his place in all this is anymore.)

(He can't say he'll mind if she keeps wearing those little workout outfits, though.)

\-----

She doesn't know why it bugs her so much, watching Damon flirt with Rebekah. It was her idea, after all. But he's being very convincing, almost like he's not pretending at all, and she knows enough about him to know he could thoroughly enjoy seducing her if he really wanted to.

She's not  _jealous_. This part of the plan is necessary. Rebekah's a wild card, but they know she's loyal to Klaus, and they can't afford to have her getting in the way of everything. She's not jealous, she's annoyed, because Damon's over there trying to get laid while she's singlehandedly trying to save his brother.

(Okay, so maybe she's a little jealous.)

She loves Stefan, she reminds herself. Stefan is the whole reason they’re using this plan in the first place. They have to find a way release him from Klaus' compulsion, to bring him back to himself. She won't give up on him, no matter how many times he calls her a blood bag or accuses her of being pathetic. (That one hurt, she won't lie.) Because it's not him. It's not  _her_  Stefan, it's ripper Stefan, and they might look the same, but they are  _not_  the same person.

She needs her Stefan back so she can stop being annoyed by stupid things like Damon flirting with Rebekah.

\-----

If there's one thing she learned from the ghostly invasion of Mystic Falls, it's this: she needs to move on.

Her Stefan is gone. Maybe he won't be gone forever; she still has hope that one day, he'll break through, and he'll be the man she loved ( _loves_ ) again. But right now, he's gone, and she cannot let herself be consumed by this any longer. She has so many other important people in her life who need her - Jeremy, Bonnie, Caroline, Alaric. (Damon.) People who care about her; people who are actually there.

 _I won't love a ghost for the rest of my life_.

She still wants to kill Klaus, wants to make him pay for everything he’s done. But she’s not doing it for Stefan, not to save him, not to bring him back to her. Not anymore. Now, she’s doing it for herself.

\-----

His brother may still be a dick, but he saved his life (for the zillionth fucking time), and Damon's about 99% certain he saw a tiny little flicker of humanity shine through. So he’ll keep pushing, because no matter how much he hates it, he still owes his brother. (For saving his life. He's lost track of which time that was.)

 _When it's all said and done, there's nothing more important than the bond of family_.

He thinks maybe Elena's right. Maybe he's the one who can bring Stefan back from all this, and not her. Maybe they've been going about this all wrong. He'll never be a hero, but maybe Damon can finally do something right for once in his goddamn life.

\-----

The irony of this whole situation is not lost on her. She's conspiring with Damon to keep Stefan from messing around and getting in the way of their plan. Reverse those two names and you've got her entire junior year of high school.

Turns out, they were worried for good reason. And Damon is livid, not just for himself, but for her.

This is the first time she feels like she and Damon are truly on the same page, that they're in this together. Over the last few months they've gotten closer; they’ve learned more and more about each other, learned to see past their differences and focus on what they have in common. It started out as just a mutual goal to find Stefan and bring him back. Now Stefan's back, he's free of Klaus, and she's not really sure why she's still keeping Damon so close to her.

But that's not really true, is it? Not if she's being honest with herself. Because all this growing closer has just confirmed what she already knew - that Damon's not the heartless, sadistic monster he wants everyone to think he is. Sure, he's selfish, and hot-headed, and impulsive, but he also cares. He cares about everyone around them. He doesn't like to show it, but she knows better. She can see past his flippant, sarcastic deflections and understand who he really is. When other people look at Damon, they see the monster who kills for sport, who doesn't care about anything that doesn't serve him.

She sees someone completely different.

She sees the man who took her to Atlanta to take her mind off things when Mystic Falls became too much to handle. Who stepped up and danced with her at the Miss Mystic Pageant when Stefan abandoned her. Who brought her necklace back to her not once, not twice, but three times, despite what he knew it meant to her. (Stefan.) The man who stood by her all summer, who helped her and protected her and comforted her when her boyfriend couldn't be bothered.

Anytime she's ever needed him, he's been there, without question. He might have a twisted way of showing it, but he  _cares_ , and that makes him worth keeping around.

\-----

Damon thinks that when he finally bites the dust, his tombstone should read:  _Here is where Damon Salvatore would lie if Stefan would ever just let him die._  (Hey, that rhymes. Maybe he missed his calling.)

He cannot fucking  _believe_  this whole mess happened because Stefan couldn't bear to let him die. ( _Again_.) And just when he was finally starting to let go of the guilt. If there's one thing Damon hates, it's feeling guilty. It's a fucking pointless emotion that can cripple you for no reason at all, and he can't stand feeling it, which is why he doesn't. (Much.) He thinks he's felt more guilt in the last few months than ever in his life, because this whole time Stefan's been out there, paying for Damon's life, Damon's been hanging out with Elena, growing closer to her. Falling more in love with her when he knows he can't have her.

But see, that's where the guilt comes in, because technically, he could. It's become clear to him in the last few weeks that what he feels for her might not be totally mutual, but it's not totally unrequited, either. He thinks if he put a little effort in, he could start to turn the tides in his favor. He wants to. Fuck, he wants to. But he fucking  _can't_ , because she's his brother's girl, and since Stefan is perpetually saving his life (asshole), he can't screw him over that way.

Once again, guilt is fucking  _pointless_. It just keeps him from getting what he wants.

It's Elena's  _I don't know what I would do if you weren't here_  that changes his mind. Because if Stefan wanted Elena, he could be here. He's free of Klaus, so there's nothing stopping him. If Stefan really wanted to, he could be the one on Elena's front porch on the receiving end of all her thanks and praise. But he's not, and Damon is, and he feels guilty about it and it's fucking stupid because he hasn't done anything to warrant it. So he changes his mind.

_If I'm going to feel guilty about something, I'm going to feel guilty about this._

\-----

She watches him walk toward her, and she knows what he's going to do, knows she should stop him, but she can't. She wishes she could say she's shocked, or appalled, or some other emotion that implies that she didn't see this coming. But the second his lips touch hers, she knows just how long (how much) he's wanted this.

What does shock her is the realization that she wants this, too.

He cups her face gently in his hands, his thumbs resting on her cheeks, her hands gripping his wrists, and just when she starts to kiss him back, he pulls away.

She doesn't know how long she stands there in a daze after he leaves. She can't think, can't process, can't even register anything other than her lips still tingling and the cool air on her cheeks where his thumbs were. At some point she ends up in her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what just happened, how the hell she got here, and what the hell she’s supposed to do now.

\----- 

 _Protecting Elena is your problem now_.

His brother is pretty damn good at proving a point. 

He's fucking pissed that Stefan would put Elena's life in danger like that, especially with vampire blood in her system. (He vaguely recalls a similar argument in which the roles were reversed and he got a lecture about  _choices_.) But the rational part of him knows it worked. Klaus gave in, and they got the upper hand. 

He doesn't know what was said, but he's sure she had it out with Stefan on the bridge before he showed up. She's upset, understandably; her life is constantly hanging in the balance, with various players using it as leverage, and the guy she loves just used her in the worst way possible. And yeah, he's worried, because he keeps asking if she's gonna be okay, searches her eyes for signs of giving up (she never would, but he wouldn't blame her if she did), and she won't fucking answer him.

 _You can't kiss me again_.

Ah. There it is. He's been waiting for her to say something like that. She might not have pushed him away, might have even kissed him back, but even after everything that's happened, Stefan's still not completely out of the picture. He might never be completely out of the picture, and Damon knows that. But one day, he and Elena, they’ll get their shot. He has to believe that, because there's  _something_  here between them. He doesn't know what it is, or what it means, but it's something, and she can't ignore it forever.

 _It's not right_ , she says, but she's wrong, and he needs to make that clear to her.

 _No, it's right. It's just not right now_.

He can be patient. He waited 150 years for Katherine, and even though that was a bust, he knows this -  _Elena_ \- is worth waiting for.

\-----

He's back. She thought she might have seen a flicker of it on the bridge that night, heard a hitch in his voice as he walked away from her. But she knows for sure now. She saw it in his eyes when she told him she kissed Damon.

She knows (and she's sure he knows, too) that she wouldn't have told him if it didn't mean something. She doesn't really know where they stand right now, and she knows at this point she's under no obligation to tell him when she kisses someone. But it's  _Damon_ , and she doesn't know what that kiss meant but she knows it meant something. No matter what Stefan's done, her feelings for him haven't gone away. Maybe it's selfish, but she needs to tell him, needs him to know that she didn't plan it, that she wasn't trying to hurt him.

But she can see it in his eyes. She may not have meant to, but she hurt him anyway. Which means… He's back. And that changes everything. 

\-----

She walks into the Mikaelson party and takes his breath away. One, because she's fucking gorgeous. Two, because she's  _not supposed to be here_. Elena Gilbert can be a royal pain in the ass when she wants to be. 

The problem is, she's got him wrapped around her pinky finger. He and his brother, actually. He knows Stefan's humanity is emerging because all of the sudden he's throwing punches and thinly veiled hints that he's pissed off. (Shit, if he’d known all he had to do to pull Stefan away from the edge was to kiss Elena, he would have done it a long time ago. Multiple times, probably.) It's like everything's gone back to normal, except the roles are pretty much reversed. Now Damon's the one trying to protect Elena at all costs, and Stefan's the one going behind his back to get shit done.

He gets why she did it. That doesn't mean he's not pissed as hell.

_I'm mad at you because I love you._

_Well, maybe that's the problem._

Apparently, he  _cares_  too much. The irony of this whole situation would be funny to him if it wasn't so damn tragic. This is who she wanted him to be; this is the side of him she  _likes_. Fuck. He honestly believed they'd turned a corner, but nothing's changed at all. He's still in love with her, and she's still in love with Stefan.

So does what he always does when he's pissed off. He indulges himself. He breaks someone's neck (since it was an Original, he doesn't have to feel bad), and he has mindless, drunken sex with a beautiful woman.

(He'd feel bad about that, but he doesn't owe Elena anything. She made that pretty damn clear.)

\-----

She doesn't know why she was so shocked to hear him say he loves her. She knew it already; he's told her before. It was something about the way he said it, like it's the only thing he's certain of, like it's the one thing holding him together. Like  _she's_  the one thing holding him together. She doesn't like that, because she can't promise him anything. She still loves Stefan, and he's coming back to them, piece by piece. She needs to sort all that out before she can even begin to unravel what's going on with Damon.

Still, she shouldn't have said what she said. She feels awful about it, because she cares about him, and she hates that she hurt him. He's done so much for her this year, and she honestly doesn't know where she'd be without him. She wants him to know that, wants him to know what he means to her. But apparently, he's coping just fine without her apologies.

She's not jealous. She's pissed off that he's sleeping with someone who tried to kill her. There's a difference.

(This whole situation is just so damn twisted that half the time she doesn't know which way is up.)

\----- 

He turns Abby because someone had to do it, and since Elena doesn't want him and Stefan's on the mend, he figures this will restore the normal balance of things. Stefan gets to be the hero, Elena will hate Damon, and Damon doesn't have to be the good guy anymore. Everything will go back to the way it was.

 _You know, if you keep pushing people away, you're gonna end up alone_. 

Why the fuck does he let  _everything she says_  get under his skin?

He figures if he's gonna make amends with anyone, it should be his brother. His new diet (ahem) has got to be driving him crazy. Damon knows; he's watched it happen before. So he decides to take his little brother under his wing and teach him a little moderation. And it works, at least this time. It's gonna take some time and a whole lot of babysitting but he knows Stefan can get past this, and he's gonna help him do it.

 _Why do you care?_  Stefan asks.

(Of fucking course, the voice Damon hears in his head is Elena's:  _When it's all said and done, there's nothing more important than the bond of family_.) 

_Because, right now, you're all I've got._

\-----

She doesn't blame Matt for not understanding why she's so hooked on the Salvatore brothers. She'd be lying if she said she hasn't asked herself that question a thousand times since they walked into her life. 

She looks at him, her first love, and pictures what could have happened if they hadn't. 

She might have reunited with Matt at some point. Or maybe she would have met someone else, someone human. She would have lived with Jenna and Jeremy until she graduated, then gone off to college. Maybe she would have met someone there, too. Maybe she would have settled down with that someone, gotten married, started a family. A nice, normal human life.

If you had asked her a year and a half ago, that's exactly what she would have wanted.

Now? Now, she doesn't know what she wants, but it's probably safe to say a nice, normal human life is not in the cards for her. To wish away the Salvatore brothers would mean to wish away two people she cares so deeply for. She'd be giving up Stefan, the man she loves, and regardless of how this all shakes out, what they had was amazing. It saved her when she was drowning in grief; it showed her what true love and happiness could feel like.

She's the kind of person who believes everything happens for a reason. Sure, the Salvatore brothers have brought all kinds of death and destruction into her life. But they also brought her the greatest love she's ever known and two people who are always there for her, no matter what. Maybe it makes her selfish, but she wouldn't give that up for the world.

\-----

She's not stupid. She's been around vampires long enough now to know that they can't live without human blood. She knows that no matter how hard Stefan tries, he can only resist it for short periods of time. 

She also knows that if he's not in control, she's not safe around him, which means they can't be together. 

She doesn't like that Damon pushed him to feed on humans, but she knows he was right. Stefan needs to learn moderation so that maybe he can fight off the ripper binges in the future. She wishes none of it was necessary, that he could just live on animal blood and that the urges would just go away, but she's seen too much to believe in that anymore. 

She's still skeptical of Damon's plan, but when Stefan staves off his hunger to save Meredith, she thinks that maybe it's not a lost cause. Which means that maybe  _they're_  not a lost cause. 

He loves her, and he tells her so. That's the good news. The bad news is that he knows she feels something for Damon, and the worst part is that she can't look him in the eye and tell him he's wrong.

\----- 

He should've known getting mixed up with an Original was a bad idea. He can be a little (okay, a lot) impulsive when he wants something. He treated her like a means to an end, and now he's paying for it.

The fact that Elena shows up to save him should tip him off that he's hallucinating, but he wants so badly to believe that she would  _want_  to save him that he goes along with it. Which means it hurts that much more when the bitch pulls him out of it and Elena is nowhere to be found.

He knows better than that. Elena doesn't want him. Sure, she'll be sad if he dies, but she'll get over it when she and Stefan get their happily ever after. And he'll be just a damn footnote at the bottom of their epic love story.

(When his savior finally does come, it's Stefan.  _Of fucking course_. He doesn't know why he ever expected anyone else.)

(He liked the hallucination better.)

\-----

She'll be honest, she doesn't think this trip to Denver with Damon is a good idea. But Stefan has it in his head that she needs to resolve her feelings for Damon one way or another, and she can't really argue with him. If she's ever going to be happy with Stefan again, she needs to figure out why Damon's under her skin so she can finally shake him. 

But when she finds out what he did for Rose, it's like something clicks into place. Things that were blurry come into focus. Because that's the Damon she's gotten to know better than anyone over the last few months. That's the Damon who kept her from falling to pieces, who helped her bring the love of her life back to them. That's the Damon she loves. 

 _Loves_.

She doesn't know what it means, exactly. She's not in love with him. She knows what that feels like because she still feels it for Stefan. But it's more than just  _like_ , and it's something she can't ignore completely. It's something that's been trying to push to the surface for months, and now that she's finally in a place where she's ready to confront her feelings, she can see it for what it is.

He lays down beside her, and when their hands touch, it's like an electric shock zipping through her entire body and it scares the hell out of her.

She knew he'd follow her outside, but it's like she's standing on that cliff, on the edge of something terrifying, and she knows he can push her over the edge.

_Don't._

_Why not?_

Why the hell not?

When he says her name, she falls off the edge, and he's there to catch her.

\-----

He knows this whole road trip soul search had to be Stefan's idea, because he knows Elena, and she'd never have chosen this herself. If she had it her way, she'd forget everything that ever happened with him (or she'd try - he can make things pretty damn difficult when he wants to) and go running back into Stefan's arms.

But he also knows his brother, and his brother is a goddamn martyr. Or maybe he's just smart, because he knows that if there's truly something there and Elena ignores it, she'll never be truly happy with him. So this is Stefan's attempt to exorcise the demons, if you will. He was probably hoping Damon would do something stupid and screw everything up, and it would prove to Elena that she doesn't want to be with him. Or maybe it's Elena who was hoping for that, hoping that he would make everything simple, turn the gray areas to black and white so she didn't have to think so hard anymore.

Well, screw both of them, because he's not going to make it easy for her, for either of them. When he thought it was all cut and dry, that she wanted Stefan and not him, it was easy to step back and take himself out of the equation. Now that he knows he has a shot, he's going to make it as difficult as possible for she and Stefan to have their happily ever after.

He's a selfish bastard and he always has been, but he's so in love with her he can't even see straight and after everything that's happened, he can't just let her slip away. So she has a choice to make, and he's going to make damn sure she has to think long and hard before she makes it.

\-----

She asks Stefan to the dance because Caroline's right. She's supposed to be figuring out what ( _who_ ) she wants, and she can't clearly assess her options when her head is still clouded by what happened in Denver. It's not a fair fight, and she thinks a school dance with the man she loves is the perfect way to clear her head.

Considering her luck with school dances, she should have known better.

She doesn't know where they're supposed to go from here. She doesn't know how she's going to take care of Jeremy, to stay strong and keep going for him. She doesn't know anything anymore. All she knows is that when it all goes to hell, she's grateful that Stefan’s the one who's there to hold her.

\-----

He knew he should've just snapped Ric's neck when he had the chance.

At least now they've gotten rid of Klaus so they only have one problem to deal with. And since Klaus was (supposedly) the sire of their line of vampires, they (supposedly) don't have to worry about dying anytime soon.

He finally feels like he and Stefan are in a good place. Like they've finally gotten past everything that's happened to drive them apart in the last 150 years and can finally just be brothers.

Kinda sucks, then, that Elena can screw that all up whenever she damn well pleases.

He doesn't know what's going to happen when she makes her choice, but he's not holding his breath, because the odds are never in his favor. These kinds of things never work out for him, so he's not gonna get his hopes up, especially now that Stefan is himself again. She fell for Stefan once, so what's to stop her from doing it all over again?

(Damon could, maybe, if she ever gave him the chance.)

(Like he said, he's not holding his breath.)

\-----

Klaus was right. (Words she never, ever thought she'd say.) She's being horribly selfish, stringing the Salvatore brothers along, refusing to choose between them. She's going to drive them apart if she keeps this up much longer. The only thing more terrifying than that is the idea that her decision itself could drive them apart just as much, if not more.

The problem is that she loves them. Both of them. In different ways, and for different reasons, but she loves them both. She's lost so many people in the last year and a half, and she doesn't want to lose anybody else.

So, selfishly, she doesn't want to choose.

(She's no better than Katherine, and she hates it.)

\-----

He never thought that he'd ever have to face his own mortality, but here he is, waiting to die.

He can't get back to Mystic Falls, so he's been spared of whatever brotherly goodbye he and Stefan would've had. And the second he answers her call, he knows he won't get to say goodbye to Elena, either.

He knows the answer before he even asks the question, but he figures if he's really gonna die, he might as well die knowing the truth. He knows what she'll say, but it still sucks to hear it.

_Maybe if you and I had met first…_

He's not the crying type, but  _fuck_ , he feels like he might cry now, because they  _did_  meet first and she doesn't even know it. Fucking  _irony_. Story of his life.

\-----

This all feels like the worst case of déjà vu she's ever experienced. 

But it's not a dream, or a hallucination, or a flashback. It's real. She's drowning.

Of all the ways she could have died over the last year and a half, she can appreciate the irony that she's right back where it all started.

\-----

He doesn't think he's ever wished one of his enemies back to life before, but with evil hunter Ric dying in his arms, he knows that can only mean one thing.

He breaks every traffic law on the books to get back to Mystic Falls, only to find out that not only is Elena dead, but she died with Damon's blood in her system, thanks to one Dr. Meredith Fell.

Fuck.

She is not going to be happy about this.

\-----


	2. letting go

\-----

As soon as she wakes up, she knows something's not right.

Her last memory is… drowning. Stefan saved Matt, and then… nothing.

So how did he…

_Save you? He didn't._  

It's her worst nightmare come true.

\-----

He lives in a twisted, tragic world if _Matt Donovan_ gets to live instead of Elena.

He's so fucking angry. _So. Fucking. Angry._

This wasn't supposed to happen to her. She was supposed to get everything she wanted; she was supposed to _live_. Sure, he used to think it was stupid, her dream for a happy little human life, because he loves being a vampire. But she never wanted this, and it _wasn't supposed to happen_.

Fucking Stefan and his _choices_.

\-----

She remembers _everything_.

It's strange, the way it all comes back to her. Like all of the sudden, pieces of the puzzle she didn't know were missing suddenly fall into place.

They _did_ meet first.

Funny how that changes everything and nothing, all at once.

She made her choice, and she's standing by it. She loves Stefan. It's always been Stefan, and it will always be Stefan. _Forever_. (That's one part of this whole situation that she definitely doesn't mind.)

\-----

Stefan's a fucking idiot if he thinks Elena can survive on animal blood alone. Her best shot is to just accept what she is and embrace it. That's what Damon did (eventually), and he manages just fine. Just because Stefan is tortured by his blood lust doesn't mean Elena has to be. And she will be, if she goes along with this. 

_Trust me. You'll be miserable_.

\-----

She wants to believe Stefan so badly, because the thought of hurting someone makes her physically sick. But she knows that on some level Damon's right. Vampires survive on human blood. She's seen both sides of that coin; she's seen how it can be done in moderation (Damon) and how it can completely consume you (Stefan). On one hand, she's terrified of what the blood lust will do to her; on the other hand, she's terrified of what will happen if she ignores it.

It doesn't matter, anyway, because she can't keep the animal blood down. It tastes like acid going down (and coming back up). But she can't let Stefan know, because he has so much hope that this will work, that he can save her from herself. She knows he's struggling with guilt over the part he played in turning her, and if there's one thing she knows about Stefan, it's that there's nothing she can do about that guilt. It's part of who he is. 

So she'll keep trying, let him think it's working, that he's helping her, because she loves him and she wants him to be happy.

(Also, because she has no idea what else to do.)

\-----

Letting Elena drink his blood is a dick move, he'll admit it. But let the record show that _she_ came to _him_ for help because Stefan's stupid bunny diet isn't working. And since she refuses to drink actual human blood, this is the only alternative he can think of. 

It doesn't matter, anyway, because it doesn't work. She can't even keep the blood bag down, and with her heightened emotions, she's about to have a meltdown. He fucking hates it, because _this shouldn't be happening to her_.

(At least Donovan finally makes himself useful for once. Can't have a new vampire going postal at a funeral.)

\-----

She may have gone to Damon for help with the whole blood situation, but when the grief starts to overwhelm her, she knows Stefan is the only one who can help. He always knows exactly what to say, exactly what to do.

They - all of them - need to stop pushing away the grief and start healing. Lighting the lanterns might not actually fix anything, but as she lets hers float into the night sky, she feels a little bit of the weight lift off her chest. For the first time in a long time, she feels like everything just might be okay.

\-----

He shouldn't even _be_ here. He doesn't know why the hell he's still hanging around. Elena chose… well, she sure as hell didn't choose him. He told Stefan that if she picked him, Damon would leave town and let them be happy.

So why the hell can't he just pick up and leave?

Because he's got too many attachments, damn it. Because Alaric's gone, and someone's gotta make sure these idiots don't fucking kill each other.

Because if today is any indication, Elena might not have picked him, but she still needs him, and he's still in love with her, so.

_Just fighting with my brother and takin' care of the kids._

His life has been reduced to one big, never-ending babysitting job. _Fuck_.

\-----

Grief. Hurt. Hate. Rage. Joy. Love. Lust. _Hunger_. 

She's always been controlled by her emotions, but not like this. She's never had to try so hard to keep her emotions from overruling her common sense. On the other side of it, her burning desire to kill Rebekah seems childish. Pointless. And yet, in that moment, she'd felt like it was the only thing she _could_ do.

And now, with Matt? She could have (no _, would_ have) killed him if Damon hadn't stopped her. All because of this _hunger_ that consumes her every thought. 

The Stefan diet didn't work. Blood bags don't work, and it's clear that her arrangement with Matt isn't working either. Blood sharing is (apparently) not an option. So she supposes she doesn't have a choice other than to trust Damon. She's seen how he can control his blood lust. She just needs to learn how to do it herself.

\-----

Okay, so the blood-lusty dance party at Whitmore got a little out of hand. He can admit it; he let her get caught up in it. He taught her how to feed, and then he pushed her too far.

The thing is, he really was trying to help. He was trying to show her that it doesn't have to be gloom and doom and depression. Being a vampire can be _fun_. And it worked. Regardless of how the night ended, she was, at one point, having fun. 

With him.

He won't lie; he reveled a bit in the fact that she was there with him and not Stefan. He relished the time he got to spend with her, the time that she was actually enjoying herself with him for the first time in a while. He liked seeing her that way. The bottom line is that he actually likes vampire Elena, even though Stefan doesn't. (He won't admit it, but Damon knows it's true.)

He doesn't even really feel bad, because Stefan's being sketchy, and then the idiot _vervains_ him, so now he _really_ doesn't feel bad. He doesn't even feel bad when Stefan tells him _why_ he's being sketchy, because the cure probably doesn't even exist.

But then Elena kills the hunter, says she did it because he told her to, and promptly falls apart.

_Now_ he feels bad.

\-----

It's bad enough that she killed someone.

(She _killed someone_. Will there ever be a time when thinking about it doesn't make her want to die?)

Now she's literally being haunted by his ghost. A ghost who knows how to prey on every insecurity, every dark thought she's ever had. It's agonizing, and before she knows it she's on Wickery Bridge, and her daylight ring's in the river, and burning to death seems like pure bliss. 

Until… Damon.

Stefan's right. She trusts Damon, and he has a way of making sense to her when nothing else does. She's been trying to pretend that becoming a vampire didn't change anything, didn't change who she is, but that's not true. Because she's not the same girl she was when she died on the bridge. She can't be. She's changed, and the girl she is now wants different things than that other girl did.

That girl chose Stefan. She stood by her choice, she tried to make it work, but she can't keep pretending she's still that girl.

Because this girl wants Damon.

\-----

He hates that Stefan's hurting. Yes, he's a sadistic, selfish asshole, but he cares about his brother.

Okay, he's not _really_ sorry they broke up, but it's not like Elena's gonna come running straight into his arms. It's been, like, five minutes. He thinks maybe things will play out in his favor in the long run, but right now, she's gonna need some time.

Or not, because evidently she just can't wait to tell him the reason they broke up.

_You_.

If he were anybody else, he'd describe that moment in some stupid way, like how his heart leapt out of his chest or he wept with joy. But he's Damon Salvatore, so he'll just say he's really fucking happy, okay? After all this time, after everything that's happened, finally, _finally_ things might be going his way. 

They don't get to have their moment then, because contrary to popular belief, Damon actually does have priorities other than Elena, but if the way their eyes lock across the dance floor is any indication, they'll get their moment.

(Moments, plural, if he has anything to say about it.)

(What? Can't a guy be a little optimistic every once in a while?)

\-----

_It's the only way to fix all of this._

Well, at least Stefan finally told her how he _really_ feels about her being a vampire.

She gets it. She understands his fixation on the cure, because human Elena chose him. He doesn't like vampire Elena because she's different, because she wants different things. Because she doesn't want him.

The thing is, now that they've broken things off, she feels like she can finally be who she is. Like she was holding herself back for Stefan's sake, because he kept treating her like she's the same person she was before she died. And the more the new Elena emerged, the more things splintered between them. She's not sorry about it, because she's finally starting to accept that she's a vampire. She feels like she can take control of the dark places inside her, control them, harness them into something good. She won't (she _can't_ ) be someone she's not to make Stefan happy.

Damon accepts her this way. Damon even _likes_ her this way. That's not why she changed her mind, but she needs to surround herself with people like that. And if Stefan can't, then she doesn't want to be around him. Not now.

\-----

It sucks for her that she can't stay at home anymore, but he can't say he minds that she basically moved in with him today. Regardless of recent… revelations, he likes having her around, likes spending time with her, so it's no skin off his nose.

Then she starts rambling about how no one likes her this way, and he wants to punch all of them, because it's not like she can help what she is. Something horrible happened to her, and she wallowed in it for a while, but now she's making the best of it. Anyone who tries to make her feel like she's a lesser person can go straight to hell, because if you ask him, she's more herself than he's ever seen her before.

_I wanted to dance with you today_.

He doesn't hesitate, because she deserves to be happy, and if a dance will do that for her, well, he won't deny her that. (He's so _fucking_ in love with her, damn it.)

Then she's kissing him. She’s kissing him and shoving him up against a wall and ripping his shirt open and _damn_ , he's really fucking glad Stefan found somewhere else to stay tonight.

\-----

She wakes up to Damon's sleeping face and she feels like her heart might burst. She's _happy_. Pure, unadulterated joy. She doesn't remember the last time she felt this way, and after everything that's happened, she thought she might never feel it again.

_I'm happy_.

There goes her heart again, because she doesn't know if she's ever seen Damon truly happy, either. He's smiling instead of smirking, and she thinks she'll do anything in the world to keep that smile on his face. Including keep their secret from Stefan for (at least) one day.

But of course, this is her life we're talking about. She should've known it couldn't just be that easy.

\-----

A fucking sire bond.

_Really?_

He cannot _fucking_ believe this. He finally gets the girl, finally gets to have everything he ever wanted. He's finally _happy_ , for all of, like, five seconds, and then something has to go and bring his ivory tower crashing down around him.

If he's being honest, he knew the second the words came out of Stefan's mouth that he was right. He tried to deny it, rationalize it in his mind, but this is his life we're talking about here, so of course it's true. He should've known it was all too good to be true, that there had to be a catch. The blood bag just confirms it.

It just fucking sucks. He's been in love with her for the better part of the last two years. He waited so patiently for her to finally be ready to give him a chance, and now that she is, it's because of a fucking sire bond. Or, maybe it's not, and she truly wants to be with him. The problem is that now he doesn't know what her true feelings are, and he's terrified that she doesn't either.

He knows what he has to do. He has to be strong enough to let her go. Because he's selfish, yes, but he can't be selfish with her. Not about this.

\-----

She's sick and tired of everyone questioning the way she feels, telling her it's not real. Because she knows what she feels is real, even before Tyler tells her how the sire bond works. She knows herself. These aren't new feelings. This is everything she felt for him before she turned, but magnified. She's falling for him, fast, and she hates that he's questioning everything.

She knows what he's going to do. She doesn't want him to do it, because she wants to be with him. Not because it'll make him happy, but because it'll make _her_ happy. God, after everything she's been through, doesn't she deserve a little happiness?

\-----

He sets her free, and it breaks his fucking heart.

He knows it's the right thing to do. He won't ever truly know if her feelings for him are based in the sire bond, so he could never really be happy anyway. But the look on her face… it's almost enough to make him take it back.

He knows she cares about him. She always has, even when she's hated him. But until they figure all this out, until they find away to break the bond and he knows it's real, this is the way it has to be.

(He needs a goddamn drink.)

\-----

She hates this. She hates everything about this whole situation. She misses him, and she can't stop thinking about him, and it's almost killing her to stay away from him. But is that the sire bond, or is that just how she feels about him? It sucks that she has to second-guess everything she feels.

Thankfully (annoyingly), Rebekah's compulsion answers the question for her.

She's in love with him. She's been in love with him since… well, she's pretty sure it stretches back to before she and Stefan got back together, before she turned. She thinks she's been trying to push it away all this time, because loving him scares the hell out of her. Loving Stefan was different - he's kind, and gentle, and dependable, and she knew that he would never, ever hurt her, if he could help it. But Damon… he's dangerous. He's emotional and impulsive and, yes, selfish. He keeps her on her toes. And it scares the hell out of her.

Choosing Stefan was the easy way out, because it meant she wouldn't have to face that what she feels for Damon is so much stronger, so much more real than anything she's ever felt in her life.

This is not the sire bond. This is love. And she needs him to know.

\-----

_I love you, Damon_.

Fuck. He's waited so damn long to hear her say those words. And maybe it is the sire bond, in which case he shouldn't ask her to come to him, but he's selfish and weak and he needs to see her, okay? _She loves him_. He thinks he doesn't even care anymore if it's not real, because it feels so good to hear her say it.

He decides then and there that he'll get this goddamn cure. He'll do whatever it takes to get it for her, so she can finally be free of being a vampire, free of the sire bond. And yeah, maybe she'll go back to being human and the sire bond will be gone and she won't love him anymore, but at least he'll know for sure. Because the alternative is that she really does love him, and when the sire bond is gone, they can finally be together. For real.

_She loves him_ , and he loves her, and even if it’s not gonna last forever, he just wants to enjoy it, at least for a little while.

\-----

If she's really honest with herself, she's known all along how he feels about the cure. She knows he doesn't want it, because he likes being a vampire, and he doesn't want to give it up.

(Not even for her, as much as that hurts.)

So she has a choice to make. She can take the cure, be human again, have the life she's always wanted, and let Damon go. Or, she can stay a vampire, find a way to break the sire bond, and finally get to be with him. Forever.

She wishes everything didn't have to be so damn complicated.

\-----

Jeremy's gone. So is the cure, but that's the least of their worries right now, because Elena's in denial, and when she finally comes out of it, she'll be on the verge of a colossal breakdown.

She said it herself not too long ago. Jeremy is (was) the only thing holding her together. He's the last of her family, and when it all finally hits her, the grief is going to consume her. Stefan wants him to use the sire bond to convince her that it'll be okay, but when she's hyperventilating on the floor in his arms, he's not so sure it's strong enough. But he can use the sire bond to get her to do something that _is_ strong enough.

_Turn it off_.

The light goes out of her eyes, and her grief vanishes.

(He might regret this later, but at least now, she doesn't have to feel the pain.)

\-----

She doesn't know why any vampire wants to feel anything, ever. Turning her humanity off is the best decision she's ever made. She doesn't have to _care_ so much anymore. It's exhausting, and pointless, and she's glad that part of her life is over. She has freedom now. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she doesn't have to worry about things like feelings and consequences, because _she doesn't care_.

She doesn't know why everyone's so worried. She's fine. She's great, actually. It's like all of her memories have been reframed; she remembers everything that happened, but without all the emotional baggage that comes with it. Her parents? Dead. Jenna? Dead. Alaric? Dead. Jeremy? _Dead_. She loves that the word _dead_ doesn't want to make her fall to pieces anymore, because there are a _lot_ of dead people in her past, and that would be exhausting.

The Salvatore brothers are gonna try to save her. She's not stupid enough to believe they actually want her to stay this way, even though Damon's the one who asked (sired) her to do it. But she doesn't want their help. She doesn't want the cure, and she doesn't want to turn her emotions back on. She doesn't _want_ to be saved, and she doesn't understand why they care so damn much.

She's _fine_. She feels nothing. Life is good.

\-----

Of course _Katherine fucking Pierce_ is the one who made off with the cure. Bitch may be in hiding for all eternity, but she just can't seem to mind her own damn business. She is constantly making his life difficult, especially now.

They need that cure for Elena. If they can get her to take it, she won't have a humanity switch anymore, and the sire bond will be gone, and this whole twisted mess disappears. And they need to do it soon, because they can't have her running around eating all the cheerleaders in the tri-county area. (Apparently the sire bond doesn't exist if she doesn't care. Good to know.)

Rebekah has a point, though. If the sire bond's broken, then why would he want her to be human? Human Elena was Team Stefan, and who's to say she won't revert straight back to that? And honestly, with the whole no-humanity thing, he can appreciate the art of a good emotionless binge. It can be cleansing for the soul every once in a while. (Selfish and sadistic are his default settings.)

_Be honest. You like me better like this._

She's not entirely wrong, but the problem is that if she doesn't have her emotions, she doesn't love him. And he still loves her, so you see the dilemma here. She has to turn it back on, and if she won't, they have to find a way to make her.

Which brings him right back to the cure.

The trip to the Big Apple is supposed to kill two birds with one stone - chase a lead on the cure, and show Elena a good time away from the drama of Mystic Falls. No harm, no foul. Except that despite Stefan's warnings, he definitely underestimated her, and she played him like a tambourine. If they're not careful, she's gonna be Katherine 2.0, and we all know how that turned out for him.

Fuck. They really need to find that cure.

\-----

She'd say she's pissed off that Damon played her, but that would imply that she cares, which she doesn't. She just doesn't want to take the cure, and she doesn't want them to find it and ram it down her throat, so she needs to go on the offensive.

(She'll admit that his pathetic little attempts to change her mind were mildly annoying. _Every day you're like this is a day that you might do the one thing you can't take back._ Boo hoo. His sob story might have worked if she, you know, _cared_.)

If you ask her, Rebekah's an idiot for wanting to be human again, but if she takes the cure, then Elena doesn't have to, and she gets to stay this way forever.

She just needs the Salvatore brothers to let her. (Don't worry. She's got a plan.)

\-----

Thank God his moment of weakness didn't cost them the actual cure, because Elena without her humanity is a ruthless, stone-cold bitch.

She almost turned prom night into a blood bath. He doesn't care if she goes after their vampire friends, because they can withstand (almost) anything she throws at them. But going after Bonnie is another story, because she's not immortal. (He's worried about _Bonnie._ That's how he knows things are twisted.) Fortunately for him, Bonnie's got other ways to protect herself, and when she retaliates and almost kills Elena, Damon sees it in her eyes.

_Fear_.

She might be a stone-cold bitch, but she's a stone-cold bitch who can be saved.

She's too smart to be scared of them, and she's so vindictive that she pisses Katherine off enough to let her go. Basically, they suck at this, because they'd never actually do anything to hurt her. But if there's one thing Damon can do, it's play the game to get what he wants. He's never been afraid to be the bad guy if it means shit gets done. And this shit needs to get _done_.

(He knew Donovan was wearing the eternity ring. He made sure of it, because while the QB might be expendable to Damon, he's not to Elena, which is the point. And, as it turns out, it’s the wave that finally breaks down the dam.)

\-----

All this time, she's been trying to avoid her emotions when really, her emotions are the answers to all her problems. She channels them all into anger and hate, because Katherine is the root of almost every bad thing that's ever happened to her, to the people she loves. Caroline. Jeremy. Even Damon and Stefan. It all comes back to Katherine, and Elena's had enough.

She'll admit it's a little over the top, but if she lets the anger go, even just a little bit, she'll be trapped under an avalanche of emotions. She may have turned them back on, but she's not ready for that, not yet.

Not until she sees Jeremy again.

All the hate, the rage, the grief. It's all gone. And maybe this is a distraction, too, because the veil has to go back up eventually, but at least she gets to see him. She gets to spend time with him, and Alaric. She gets to have a family again, at least for a little while. So even if she drowns in the emotions when this is all over, it'll be worth it, because she finally gets a chance to say goodbye.

\-----

She wasn't sure she'd ever see her high school graduation, to be honest. She could have died at least a hundred times over the last two years. (One of those times, she actually _did_ die.) With everything they've been through, everything that's happened, she never thought far enough ahead to imagine this moment, but here it is.

Here it is, and she's grateful. Because even though she died, even though she's not human, she still gets to have these amazing human experiences with the people she loves. They're all here, and they're all graduating, _together_. It's more than she ever could have hoped for, more than she ever could have dreamed of, and that, she thinks, is why humanity is a beautiful thing. Because she can be here, with the handful of people who have stood by her through it all, and she can feel every wonderful moment of joy, of love, of gratitude.

Emotions aren't just what make her who she is. They're what make life worth living, even when she’s dead.

\-----

He knows she's mad at him, and honestly, he doesn't even really care. He's just glad she finally cares enough to be mad, to be pissed off that he wanted to die.

No, he's not just glad, he loves it, because she's herself again. She's Elena. Elena with her emotions, but without a sire bond. He's not sure where that leaves him, because sure, she was in love with him before, and she obviously cares about him now, but there's a whole mess of other things they need to work through to make sense of where they stand.

But that's okay, because he's already written out their tragic ending in his head. She'll come in here, all doe-eyed and teary. He'll get an Elena-fied version of the _it's not you, it's me_ speech, tied into some sob story about how she doesn't wanna lose him. He can almost hear her now: _It'll always be Stefan_.

He can't let himself get his hopes up about their happy ending because he's never gotten one of those before, and he doesn't know why anything would change this time around.

So when she comes stomping into the living room to give him a piece of her mind, he decides to give her a piece of his instead. He gives her every reason in the world to turn her back on him and walk away. Hell, he's given her more than enough reasons to walk away since the day they met. He doesn't know why she gives even the slightest damn about him, because he's completely wrong for her in every way, and he'll never be the person she wants him to be.

Her little speech in return starts out just the way he thought it might. But just when he thinks she's gonna leave him in the dust, she surprises the hell out of him.

_I'm not sorry that I'm in love with you._

Holy shit. Did that just happen?

(And why the fuck is he still standing all the way over here?)

She loves him, and it's for real this time. She's not conflicted over her feelings for Stefan, and she's not blinded by a sire bond, and _she loves him_.

He kisses her before she can change her mind.

\-----

Later, when they're lying side by side, his sleeping face just inches from hers, she marvels at everything it took for them to get to this point.

Stefan Salvatore walked into her life for a reason. For a long time, she thought it was to save her from herself, to show her what true love is, to be the answer to her prayers. And she was right, for a while; Stefan was all those things, and he did all those things.

But he also brought her to Damon.

If Stefan had never saved her life two years ago, if he hadn't stuck around Mystic Falls to get to know her, if she had never fallen in love with him or gotten mixed up in everything a life with him entailed, she never would have met Damon. She never would have met the most selfish, stubborn, infuriating man she's ever known. And she never would have known how it feels to love him, and to be loved by him.

She's the kind of person who believes everything happens for a reason, because despite all the horrible things that have happened since the Salvatore brothers walked into her life two years ago, it all led her to this moment, right here, with this man. The man she loves. To wish away the Salvatore brothers would mean to wish away the greatest love she's ever known. And she wouldn't give that up for the world.

\-----

 


End file.
